Slut Rage

2

October 15, 2014 by adbesserer

Caution: Explicit Sexual Content

A few posts ago, I described a sexual encounter I had with a guy who was a friend of a friend, Mr. Fetish, who was grooming me to find out if I’d be willing to be watched by one of his friends performing a sex act on him–exhibitionism–which, I decided, I was not. I asked in my subsequent piece if men felt like I was amenable for coercion because I’ve been open about my issues with depression and self harm. The answer is most likely yes.

Today I planned on writing a nice piece about an eccentric character from my neighbourhood, and his search for love. That’s going to have to wait because I’m feeling some serious SLUT RAGE!

Yesterday I received a message from a guy I don’t know very well who seemed to feel like it was okay to send me the following message:

“Um. So i always kinda lurk and read your writings, but i’ve never commented on anything. Words don’t always come easily to me. But you’re beautiful and sexy and i’m not certain if your last blog was fictional (fantastic, really very erotic, if so) or not (desperation, or manic self confidence?) but those things being said: 1. please be safe 2. There’s a world of sadness in all the ugly comments you’ll get over this. Why put yourself through that?”

Now, I’m not very quick when a verbal assault happens, so perhaps I should have said these things earlier, but excuse me Mr. Fake White Knight, but there’s a lot of contradictory things happening here. First you tell me I’m beautiful and even sexy (objectification), and then you suggest that if I wrote the piece fictionally, it was good (I don’t remember asking), and then you suggest that other people will be judging me the way you have (false, even of my closest friends), and then you wrap it all in a be safe (I’m 31 years old, I know the measures of preventative, and posthumous sexual health). He also later called me crazy for being exposed, even though he admits to “lurking” my blog all the time.

Maybe this message came out of genuine concern for a person he’s met twice. Why then did he go on to fish for more details, even speaking of BDSM equipment? I should have asked him if he had ever been blown by a girl after the bar, and then called to ask her how she felt about it the next day.

My point is that I felt slut shamed, and that’s not cool. I tried something, it only went as far as I wanted it to, and now it’s over. Or..it was sort of over…until…

I try not to use sayings or cliches because I feel like there are better things to do with language, but in this case I think “Idle Hands are the Devil’s Play Thing”, or however that saying actually goes, truly applies.

So last night I got another message from Mr. Fetish who asked if I had further considered any of his requests. Just to fill you in, his requests range from me allowing his female friend watch me blow him, to me taking a picture of it and putting it up on my blog. I was bored, so I told him I was leaving my phone to jerk off. In typical narcissist fashion, he asked if I wanted to talk on the phone while I did it. I said sure, why not?

He made me wait 15 minutes, and then he calls, and all he wanted to talk about were, of course, his dick, and his fantasies, asking me again and again the limits of my kink. When I became annoyed, and frankly, even more bored of reassuring this guy of the immense majesty of his package, he told me he was tired and had to go to sleep.

I’m not going to say that I was dumb to assume that he would in any stretch of his imagination even consider trying to get me off, because, for him, sex may look like a team sport, but it’s all solitary. I told him he sucked, and that I should have stuck to porn.

Now, Mr. Fetish is probably reading this and getting off on the fact that I’m writing about him at all. To that I say emphatically:

This is my blog, bitch! Your dick isn’t big enough to justify the immensity of your ego. How do you like that? Do you like watching me get read by readers? Do you like that?

Have your fetish, guy, but don’t call me up in the middle of a sesh acting like you want to help me out when all you want is for some girl make you feel like a man.

I can hear people saying “what did you expect?” Well, I’m going to say common courtesy, dammit.

For the avid readers who remember Mr. Winter kiss, and how I thought it was the last time…it wasn’t.

Amenable for coercion, maybe. Crazy for trying something new, never.

Thanks for helping me break a new record yesterday. I may be suffering from severe slut rage, but I’m also experiencing a lot of other things–gratitude being one of them.

For more clarification, view this!

http://www.artistdirect.com/video/salt-n-pepa-none-of-your-business/37705

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2 thoughts on “Slut Rage

  1. Very well written. I love it.

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